Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?
It’s a very simple question but hard to answer. Isn’t it? Based on a research called Self- Compassion - how kindly people view & treat themselves. It was found out that people who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, surprisingly are low on self-compassion, berating themselves for perceived failures as simple as like being overweight or not exercising.
This research suggested that giving yourself a break and accepting your imperfections is the first step towards better health. People who treat themselves with compassion are less likely to have depression and anxiety, tend to be happier and more optimistic.
Self-compassion is not to be confused with self-indulgence or lower standards, people are afraid to be self-compassionate thinking they’ll become self-indulgent. They often believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.
Imagine your reaction to a child struggling in school or eating too much junk food. Many parents would offer support, like tutoring or making an effort to find healthful foods the child will enjoy. But when adults find themselves in a similar situation struggling at work, or overeating and gaining weight many fall into a cycle of self-criticism and negativity. That leaves them feeling even less motivated to change.
Self-compassion is really conducive to motivation. The reason you don’t let your children eat five big tubs of ice cream is because you care about them. With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what’s healthy for you rather than what’s harmful to you.
For those low self-compassion, try a certain set of exercises, such as writing yourself a letter of support, just as you might to a friend you are concerned about. Listing your best and worst traits, reminding yourself that nobody is perfect and thinking of steps you might take to help you feel better about yourself are also recommended.
Other exercises include meditation and “compassion breaks,” which involve repeating mantras like “I’m going to be kind to myself in this moment.”
In Fact, even a minor self-compassion intervention could influence eating habits. Self-compassion is like a missing ingredient in your daily diet. It’s hard to unlearn habits of a lifetime. People have to actively and consciously develop the habit of self-compassion.
“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life. “ - Christopher K Germer.